The Naked Gun

Actor Leslie Nielsen has sadly died aged 84. He is best known for his starring roles in ‘Airplane!’ - widely considered to be the best spoof movie of all time - and the Naked Gun series, which are rarely shown these days due to his homicidal co-star O.J. Simpson.

Perhaps it was Nielsen's literal use of English, that made him so funny. Here are a few examples:


Airplane! (1980)

Nielsen (as Dr Rumack): “You’d better tell the captain we’ve got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.”

Air stewardess: “A hospital? What is it?”

Rumack: “It’s a big building with patients, but that’s not important right now.”



Rumack: “Can you fly this plane, and land it?”

Ted Striker: “Surely you can’t be serious?”

Rumack: “I am serious. And don’t call me Shirley.”


Police Squad! (1982)

Neilsen (as Frank Drebin): “Do you think you can beat the champ?”

Briggs: “I can take him blindfolded.”

Drebin: “What if he’s not blindfolded?”

Briggs: “I can still beat him.”


Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (1991)

Drebin: “That’s the red light district. I wonder why Savage is hanging around down there.”

Ed Hocken: “Sex, Frank?”

Drebin: “Uh, no, not right now, Ed.”


Naked Gun 33 1/3: The Final Insult (1994)

Drebin: “Sergeant Frank Drebin, Detective Lieutenant, Police Squad.”

Security guard: “Yeah, and I’m Robert De Niro.”

Drebin: “Mr De Niro, we’ve got to get inside.”

Stationary stationery

PoundStretcher stores are selling the paper shredder below for the bargain price of £9.99.


But looking at the top left hand corner of the box, they are probably not expecting them to fly off the shelves.

That'll learn them

From the Daily Telegraph, 24th November 2010

Language development in children

Professor of language and communication Deborah Cameron and neuroscientist Professor Simon Baron-Cohen discuss gender differences in neuroscience and psychology on the Today Programme, BBC Radio 4 (Tuesday, 16th November 2010)

Barnet Council’s Grammar Blunder

This poster has appeared on 189 sites across Barnet, having been approved by its communications and children’s services departments. Click on photo to enlarge.

It’s enough to make Lynne Truss spit out her cornflake’s!

Sublexical units and the split fovea

My previous blogpost was based on an e-mail which is currently doing the rounds. It purports to be based on research carried out at Cambridge University. According to the Snopes website, there does appear to be an element of truth to the story although they suggest that the research was carried out by Edinburgh University in a paper published in 2003 entitled: "Sublexical units and the split fovea."

As a first year undergraduate, this paper is way beyond my current level of knowledge, but I am looking forward to the lecture when we learn all about Wickelgraphs!

The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid!

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg.

Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh? Yaeh, and I awlyas thought slpeling was ipmorantt.

Back to the future

I received a corporate e-mail today advising of a change of telephone number. The message stated:

“Please ensure that the team number of ███ ████ is used going forward.”

Going forward? Who writes this nonsense? I was thinking of making a telephone call into the past, but thanks for reminding me not to do that!

David Crystal Interview

An interview with Professor David Crystal on Simon Mayo’s Drivetime show (BBC Radio 2), 4th November 2010, about 'teenage speak' inflections.

Cameron gives succour to extremists

With all the publicity given to the student demonstrations last week, there has been little comment on Prime Minister David Cameron’s speech to students at Peking University. He told them that by putting up the fees for British students, it would help keep the fees for overseas students under control.

Most people involved in education recognise the need to welcome overseas students to our shores. After all, we encourage British students to study abroad as part of their education and it is right and proper that we reciprocate.

But at a time when there is justifiable anger at the decision to treble university fees for British students, any suggestion by the Prime Minister that the increase will somehow be used to subsidise non British students is likely to be picked up by the nutters in the BNP or EDL and used to support their nefarious aims.

That was highly unlikely to have been his aim, but perhaps Mr Cameron could stop following in Tony Blair’s footsteps by telling local audiences what he thinks they want to hear, without consideration of the repercussions elsewhere.